Beer, friendship, and the shared table

Beer-related tweets often include #beerpeopleRgoodpeople, a hash-tagged statement of truth. There are a lot of remarkably generous, kind, fun, smart, and creative people in the beer-loving and beer-brewing world. From craft beer devotees to homebrewers and commercial brewers, the beer world attracts terrific folks. And these folks gather in pubs, at tastings, in homebrew clubs, at festivals large and small, and over meals, not to mention over the net on Twitter and Facebook.

Beer and companionship go together. It's not uncommon to say or hear something like, "Hey, wanna grab a beer?" No one says, "Hey, let's go grab a wine," though they might more generically say, "Hey, let's grab a drink." Regardless, dropping by the pub with a friend and grabbing a beer is one of life's real pleasures. Not that people don't drink other beverages together, but there's an inviting, accessible quality to beer that's lacking in other drinks.

Beer serves as a social catalyst, a bridge between people, and it can also be thought of as part of a broader tradition of shared food and drink bringing people together. Even the president had a "beer summit" - though he appeared to need some advice from the craft brew community about what to serve. Ahem.

The tradition of a shared table (or side by side barstools, whatever suits) is woven into the fabric of human history. Major holidays have also been called "feast days" for good reason. Shared meals have always marked major occasions, whether the meal is a Thanksgiving, Easter, or Christmas feast, a Passover seder, a state dinner, a wedding feast, a celebration of victory, etc. The masterminds of the American Revolution and, later, U.S. Constitution hashed things out in taverns over ale and other beer drinks popular at the time. My fellow lawyers often talk about fighting in court but being able to grab a beer together afterward, the latter showing that the fight was professional, not personal, and that there is mutual respect.

Beer is part of this human tradition of the shared table, which seems to transcend cultures and therefore be in us. Beer brings us together, eases tensions (in several ways), and is a social spark. Sure, there are other social catalysts that we can gather around, including other alcoholic beverages. For a goodly number of folks, though, beer is the catalyst of choice, and this clearly isn't limited to craft beer.

At the IPA tasting at Arbor Brewing earlier this month, I met folks similarly dedicated to the enjoyment of craft beer and homebrewing. The beer was fantastic, and so were the people. It was a joy to talk with them about what we were sampling and share tales about the triumphs and tribulations - and utterly comical moments - of homebrewing. I ran into the father of one of my daughter's classmates there. Turns out he's a homebrewer, which I hadn't known. We got to talking, and he informed me that he was growing his own hops. After a little more talk, he offered me a couple of rhizomes. Now, less than two weeks later, I have two Cascade rhizomes ready to plant. Beer people are generous, and beer brings people together.

For me, beer has even helped to rekindle a friendship that has been dear to me for over 25 years. Beer writer Sean Nordquist and I became terrific friends at the age of 12. Seventh grade, new school, awkward adolescence: you get the picture and probably lived it, too. When we were teens, Sean had a space in his family's garage that he cleared out and made into a hangout, and we and a couple of other friends would hang there into the wee hours, drinking strong coffee - brewed beverages have apparently always mattered to us - and talking about life, the universe, and everything. Eventually, though, we went to college far apart and ended up in Florida (him) and Michigan (me).

We were in each other’s weddings, and our friendship at its core has never wavered. But we did go through long periods of not picking up the phone or writing. I think that if you had asked either of us about our closest friends, each would name the other right away. I have no doubt that he thought of me often, as I thought of him. With our history, our friendship was enduring, but actual contact had become too rare.

I know it sounds hokey, but our interest in beer brought us back together. I had become interested in homebrewing, and it turned out that he had been brewing for some time. We started talking a lot about it, and about beer in general. Then he had a business trip to Cleveland, not far from here, and I was able to get away for a night, which we spent at the Great Lakes Brewing Co. over beer flights and great food. Sometimes it takes something concrete, and it can be a little thing indeed, to rekindle a friendship.

Now, Sean and I talk often about beer, brewing, and beer writing, but we also talk about so much more: our kids and marriages, politics, our jobs (real and dream), mutual friends, old times, current times, and the times we hope lay ahead, adventures we’d like to share and how we might achieve them – and sometimes how we might not be able to. It's all part of life, and it's all fair game.

I have another friend who moved from Michigan to California, and he and I use Skype to have a beer "together" and chat. He's too far away to share the table or hang at the pub together, just like Sean is, but we do try to keep our tradition of grabbing a beer alive with the technology we have at our fingertips. I've also used technology, particularly Twitter, to connect with other craft beer devotees. I'd love to meet them in person someday, but for now we're having a pretty good time connecting over the internet. 

It all comes down to human connection, and for me, beer has facilitated that, and the connection is, in turn, more important than the beer. So, on that note, "Hey, wanna grab a beer?"